Who Will Be First?
A year before my friend Abraham Rogatnick died he knew he was going to. He had decided at the time not to prolong his treatment for prostate cancer. He didn’t tell his friends and soldiered on with his life. It was a year before he died when he gave me the almost life size Mexican papier-mâché skeleton. Attached to Pancho (the name I gave it) was and is a hangman’s noose. Rogatnick would display Pancho on his front porch every Halloween.
Pancho sits prominently in a beautiful antique Windsor arm chair in our dining room and he is frequently a subject of my portraits as the three you see here.
Rosemary has been away in Lillooet, British Columbia visiting our daughter (a school teacher) now for almost a week and today (Friday) she called to say that she might not take the Pemberton to Vancouver bus until Sunday.
Meanwhile the cats are in an uproar as their status quo (as well as mine) has been disrupted. They seem to want to eat more often. Plata’s situation may be due to her old age as she is 14. She could either have worms or probably the more likely thyroid/kidney issue that affects cat of her age. I am taking Plata to see her vet Peter Lekkas at the SPCA. He told me to prevent her from going to her litter box today. I fed her in the morning and put her outside. She has been meowing since to come in. I will eventually have to subject her to putting her into our cat cage to take her for her appointment at two. I cringe with the stress she will be subjected.
The weather is coldish and semi cloudy. I look out into our beautiful garden with an unsettled sense of loneliness.
It is obvious that like Rogatnick both Rosemary and I have a date with death. Am I being most selfish in wishing to go first so that I will not have to experience the kind of loneliness I feel now because she is not here? Should I be a gentleman and wish her death first so that she will not experience this? More Pancho